Caring with Pride: Elsie’s Story

Pride Month is a time to celebrate love, visibility, and community - and to honour the stories that often go unheard. In this piece, we share the experience of Elsie, a young LGBTQ+ carer from Bristol, who supports her disabled partner while navigating university life, identity, and advocacy. Her story is a powerful reminder that caring and pride are deeply connected - both rooted in love, resilience, and showing up for those we cherish.

Can you tell us a little about your caring role and who you care for? 

I care for my partner who I've been with now for two and a half years, and I’ve been her carer for about the last 18 months. We met at uni at an event for Bristol University Neurodiversity Society (BUNS) as we're both autistic. My partner is physically disabled and autistic, so my caring role includes both helping her with daily living tasks and supporting her emotionally. She is studying for a Zoology degree, and I have been a big part in helping her to continue attending and working towards her degree because going to uni when you’re disabled and neurodivergent is really hard! The university and other services have not been great at supporting her through the last few years, so I’ve helped her a lot with advocacy and fighting for the help she deserves.

How did you first come to realise you were a carer?

I gradually took on more of a caring role in the first year of being with my partner and then we made it official once we moved in together. It was a very conscious decision for both of us as we knew that living together would mean me taking on a lot of the housework and a lot more support day-to-day. It felt like a relief to get official status as a carer and to just admit it to myself because it's really validating to accept that you are actually doing something really hard that is making a big difference in someone’s life.

How does being part of the LGBTQ+ community and being a carer shape your experiences?

It has helped me and my partner find a very niche little community of mostly neurodivergent and disabled people and their partners/friends/carers. Both aspects feel like a very big part of my identity but at the same time they both just mean that I love my partner who happens to be disabled and happens to be a woman, so it also feels completely natural and strange that the world sees it as an uncommon experience. It can feel uncomfortable to mention to new people that I am my partner’s carer, they often think it's odd as we’re so young, but I have found that being part of the LGBTQ+ community makes this a lot easier because my relationship is already “abnormal” and the queer community feels like a much safer place to express how my relationship works.

What does Pride Month mean to you personally? 

I generally don’t think about Pride Month that much other than that it's when Bristol Pride happens. Me and my partner have enjoyed going to this the last couple of years mostly to see drag artists from Brizzle Boys! Watching drag and going to Pride each year is a really cool reminder of how much community we have in Bristol.

What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced as a young carer? 

Getting my partner the support she needs has probably been the hardest thing for both of us. Over the last 2 years we have dealt with so much admin, so many useless appointments, and so much rejection when just trying to get things in place like PIP, Carer’s allowance, physiotherapy etc. There are a lot of services that claim to be accessible and there to support young disabled people (and their carers) but a lot of them have let us down and at times this has made us feel quite lost and has put extra pressure on me to continue full time care as its so difficult to get any other help.

Have you found spaces where you feel seen and supported as both a carer and a member of the LGBTQ+ community? 

Bristol Uni Neurodiversity Society (BUNS) has been the main place I have felt seen in this way as so many people there are part of the LGBTQ+ community, neurodivergent, disabled and carers themselves. Being around people that I can actually identify with, and who have been through a lot of similar experiences, either for themselves or for people they care for, has been really supportive and has made me feel less alone. I was on the committee for BUNS for a couple of years which felt very empowering as we were making real change for disabled people in Bristol and the university.

What do you love to do for yourself, outside of caring? 

I have recently left university to pursue a path in gardening! I now study horticulture part time, volunteer at a city farm, and spend lots of time looking after plants in my own flat and the gardens of my friends (I sadly don’t have my own garden). Finding this passion has been amazing for creating time that is just for me, where I can get out of the flat, meet other people, do exercise and do something I love.

What advice would you give to other younger LGBTQ+ carers who might be feeling isolated

That just because a lot of the resources for carers in the UK and in Bristol may feel directed at older straight people doesn’t mean there isn’t any support out there that will actually fit you. If you keep looking you will find niche little communities that fit you perfectly, it can sometimes just take a bit more time and effort than you probably have! So just keep trying because the right things will appear in the end.