Daisy's Story

At the beginning of each school year there should be a short form for children and young people to fill in which would include the simple question: "Is there someone in your house with a disability?".

That single question could lead to many unidentified young carers being identified before they reach crisis point. This brilliant idea was formed by Daisy and her mum Tina.

Sadly, Daisy had to reach a crisis point with her mental health before she was identified as a young carer by a counsellor who referred her to a Young Carers support group. Daisy lights up when she talks about the group, explaining it as a chance to be a teenager, have fun, connect with other people that understand, and have support tailored to her needs. 

Daisy is needed at home to care for her mum. Tina has many complex health needs which include constant pain and exhaustion. This means Daisy often spends many hours at home, by her mum's side. In a little room full of treasures, including many plants, Daisy feels safe and relaxed, finding time for herself. Daisy laughs about how her plants provide the oxygen she needs when she can't leave the house because her mum needs her nearby. One of Daisy's hobbies is reading. She enjoys many subjects, but one of her favourites is Greek mythology. Daisy shares lots of facts with me but focuses in on one story that made her feel particularly emotional. In the author Madeline Miller's version of the myth, Achilles and Patroclus who died before people accepted their same sex love for one another. Daisy passionately shares a wish for people to be respected and supported whatever their "differences": we all deserve to be loved and heard. 

Daisy and Tina have an extraordinary bond and have built a strong network of people that understand, which has been a challenge. Tina's health conditions are not visible when you meet her, and her boundless intellectual knowledge and kindness mask them well. However, people don't see the days where Tina is unable to move and can't leave her bed; they can therefore fall away as they don't understand. Tina often puts unreasonable expectations on herself, pushing herself to mask things and do more; she reflects that this may be one of the factors in her diminished health. Tina holds a lot of guilt; she wishes she could provide what Daisy deserves and allow her to be a child. But she does need Daisy's support and because Tina can't work, they have to get by solely on her disability benefit income. 

Whilst holding this caring responsibility on her young shoulders, Daisy is a strong and determined individual who is incredibly bright and extremely artistic. She is in top sets for all her GCSEs and aims to go to Oxford University to study law. During COVID-19, Daisy has thrived from doing her schoolwork at home, as she has been able to be near her mum. In school she struggles with her peers as she is much more grown up than they are, so finds it challenging to connect. 

Daisy's story is shared by our friends at Invisible Army. Check out their website for many more carers' stories